So much pain, .. and then there are more

Ya Allah! apabenda ni? So much pain!!!

how could You test me this way???

everyday i feel my heart, my chest being ripped apart, over and over again!!!

I'm tired of putting an act!!!!

I'm tired of trying to be strong!!!!

because I know I am not!

Im weak!!

and I'm hurt!!

Im wounded!!!!

Im injured!!!

I want everything to go away!!!!!

I want my old life!!!!!

I want to be genuinely happy again!!!

I want her back!!!

I just want my baby..........

Is that too much to ask?