Yesterday was such a horrible day.

Dear Maryam,

How are you sayang? Semalam Mama nak pegi tengok Maryam. mama kuar dari opis pukul 4.30, jalan jem sangat. pukul 7 pon belum sampai lagi kat Istana Maryam. Mama frust sangat sebab mama nak sangat jumpa Maryam, Mama rindu sangat-sangat kat Maryam. Sampai mama menangis dalam kereta. Mama rasa, sepanjang Ramadhan ni, mama cuma boleh jumpa Maryam masa weekend saja kot. I am so sorry sayang.

I miss you.

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As I walk this journey of a bereaved parent, I notice that my whole world changed. My beliefs aren't the same. My priorities aren't the same and my future is changed forever. My whole life has been shattered, and I didn't know where to begin to pick up the pieces or if I even had the will to pick up the pieces.

Everyone around me, even though very attentive to me, continued functioning in their lives. I didn't know where I fit in any more. I was alone, trying to figure out what happened in that split second when they told me Maryam was gone