Don't look back in anger

Dear Maryam,

Dah lama sangat mama tak update blog ni. Macam-macam yang dah jadi sepanjang 11 bulan ni...

rasanya tak payah nak ungkit lagi apa yang dah jadi sepanjang tahun ni. yang penting kita pandang kehadapan.

2016.

Tahun baru.

Azam baru.

Hidup baru.

Caiyokkk!!!!!!!

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As I walk this journey of a bereaved parent, I notice that my whole world changed. My beliefs aren't the same. My priorities aren't the same and my future is changed forever. My whole life has been shattered, and I didn't know where to begin to pick up the pieces or if I even had the will to pick up the pieces.

Everyone around me, even though very attentive to me, continued functioning in their lives. I didn't know where I fit in any more. I was alone, trying to figure out what happened in that split second when they told me Maryam was gone