Dear Maryam,
It has been 3 months since you left. That means for 3 months i didnt see your smile, for 3 months i slept without you next to me, for 3 months i reached home and you were not waiting for me at the gate. And most importantly, for 3 months, i didnt hear you calling me 'Mama'.
Still terbayang kat mata mama macammana Maryam kat hospital, mama ingat mama peluk maryam, dokter tak bagi Maryam pakai baju sebab banyak sangat wayar yang diaorg lekat kat badan Maryam. So mama balut Maryam dengan selimut and Mama peluk Maryam sebab mama taknak Maryam sejuk.
Mama cradle Maryam sampai Maryam tertidur. Mama tak berani nak letak Maryam atas katil sebab takut Maryam terjaga. Tapi sebenarnya Mama taknak lepaskan Maryam. Finally bila Maryam dah nyenyak tido baru mama baringkan Maryam. Time tu cuma kita dua orang saja sebab Bapak balik rumah amik baju mama, baju Maryam, pampers Maryam, susu Maryam.
Makin lama nafas Maryam makin kuat and Mama nampak Maryam was gasping for air. Nampak Maryam macam susah nak bernafas. Mama panggil dokter and Mama angkat badan Maryam so that Maryam duduk hoping to ease your breathing.
And then, ...
then you took one long breath
and you left me. Just like that.
mamamaryam,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading this blog for a few weeks but your post today really touches my heart. I cannot say I understand your feeling because I don't, and I hope and pray that I will never do because for that, I will have to be in your shoes to truely understand it.Thank you for sharing your feelings, not only with Maryam, but with us your blog readers.It must be really devastating for you and your husband. I wish both of you the strength and courage to go through this. Time does heal, InsyaAllah.
Thank you fid,
ReplyDeletethank you for the kind words, thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the comment. like i said in my previous entry, i PRAY no one else undertand what i truly feel but that is quite impossible. Every month, there would always be new pusara in the kanak-kanak section. :(
akak, be strong k..sye tau sye takkan memahami akak sebab sye tak menghadapinye.. sye suke bc blog akak sebab arwah anak akak sgt sgt sgt comel... trust me... die bahagia di sana kak.. die sedang menanti akak... take care... al-fatihah
ReplyDeleteSalam..sebak dada dan bergenang airmata membaca entry ini.Harap akk akan terus kuat.percayalah..ada hikmah di atas setiap ujian dan dugaanNya.dan akk adalah yang dipilih oleh Allah.Maryam tentunya sedih melihat akk menangis.Dia pasti berbahagia di alam syurga.satu masa nnti dia menunggu akk utk turut sama2 dengannya di syurga.so, semoga akk trs tabah dan kuat.
ReplyDeletesebak baca blog akak..saya dah ada sorang anak..saya memahami hati seorang ibu...akak saya pun baru kehilangan ayahda saya yang tercinta jumaat lepas..kita amat menyanyangi mereka...mereka tak mungkin dilupakan..sukar bagi melupakan org yg kita sayang..yg boleh kita lakukan, berdoa semoga mereka aman di sana...kita perlu meneruskan kehidupan yg ada tanpa melupakan mereka..ALLAH s.w.t sahaja yg tahu hati kita , dan erti kehilangan yg tak mungkin berganti...al-fatihah buat anak akak..semoga rohnya aman di sana..ALLAH s.w.t sgt menyanyanginya..
ReplyDeletesabar sis... maryam selalu ada sebelah sis... sis jer x perasan... sabar ye sis.. saya tau cakap memang senang tp berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu yg memikul..
ReplyDeletesis, maryam mmg cantik... suka rambut dia... teringat kt anak saye... menangis baca entri ni