Dear Maryam,
'Where did i go wrong? i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known how to save a life'
losing you didnt just feel like i lost my baby, my child. I also feel as if i have lost my bestfriend.
Because i had plan for you. For us
To become bestfriends. To have girls day out, go shopping, to the spa.
To be there for you when you receive your first Aunt Flow visit.
I was even thinking to the extend of how to take care of you during your confinement period. Can i be as good as Tok?
Now i will never know.
But you will always be special.
Because you are the only girl who knows how my heart beats from the inside...
for you, MamaMaryam....take care.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom Is A Survivor
My Mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.
(By Kaye Des'Ormeaux
October 15, 1998
Dear Fao,
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful. Thank you so much. although i cried reading this, it is because i am touched by the words and by your effort to try to comfort me.
I could never thank the people around me enough for supporting me.
Dear MamaMaryam,
ReplyDeletesama-sama...I found your website by accident a few weeks ago. I started reading and each time I read your words, I feel this thick blocking thingy forming in my throat. I don't even dare to imagine how you feel. I myself have a son who is a few months older than Allahyarhamah Maryam. I think there are many people out there who read your blog, but like me, we do not know what to say, knowing that there are no words that can comfort you....we are here, we "read" your feelings, your sadness...remember we are just mere human beings who can only offer comforting words and try to show you that you are not alone. But Allah is always, always, with you MamaMaryam. He listens to you all the time, He hears all the unspoken words in your heart. I pray that He comforts you in His way, InsyaAllah.
hanis...
ReplyDeletetake care..sedih sangat aku baca luahan hati hg..n insyaAllah aku faham setiap saat yg hg lalui without maryam..sebab kita sama2 losing our baby...stiap kali aku baca blog hg..semuanya datang kembali..saat2 kepedihan aku kematian zulaiqha...walaupun dah 2 tahun ...smp skrg aku menangis rindukan dia...
take care hanis...
luvs,mamazulaiqha